Impatient to Know by Ty'Shea

What does the word "love" mean?

Can you feel it? Hear it, touch it, play around with it? Mixed thoughts about this one little word called "love."

Yeah, you say you love me. True, I say it back. But I really don't know why I say it. How can you say you love somebody when you don't even know if it's true or not? It's just killing me to hear the word used and abused when truth be told, I'm steadily trying to figure out what the word means.

Love.

People say it means sex. Others say there's more to it. Some say it's when all you can think about is the other person. But I'm shaking my head on that one, because I tell my mamma I love her all the time, but I don't sit there and drool over her. Or keep writing her name a million and one times, over and over... Still questioning myself: what does the word "love" mean? Just a young girl trying to make someting of herself, stuck on one word called "love."

Granny says, "Oh you too young to be thinkin' about love! You wanna know a thing or two about love? Well, I'll tell you. Love is when you and the other person can take care of each other. Put up with the drama, the arguing, the fussin' and fightin'. Love is when you haven't seen that person all day, and when you finally do see them, your heart drops and starts to melt."

That's what granny says love is. But I'm thinking: not true. I love my mamma, granny and family members to death, but hey, I don't think about them twenty-four seven. (Unless they're sick on their death bed or something...)

Keep askin' myself what does the word "love" mean.

If it ain't love, then I have no clue what to call it. Every time my phone rings... Is it him? I hope so... Nope. Just another friend. Dang.

Every time I see him all I can do is smile, smile, smile.

Every time he holds me, my body gets hot to the point where I'm melting into him... Is it love? Nah, couldn't be.

But if it ain't love, what is it? All day, every day thinkin' about him. Lookin' in the mirror, talkin' to my reflection, as if it was him. It's hard when I've got all these thoughts running through my head. When is he going to call or text? Maybe even walk past me? And then my heart drops. I get that one text that makes me feel unstoppable... "Babe wat r u doin? i miss u"

My cheeks turn red. Without hesitation I respond: "NUTHIN...BEEN THINKIN BOUT CHU ALL DAY. AN I MISS U MORE." Impatient to see what his response would say.. 1 second, 2 second, 3 second, 4, 5, 6, 7 seconds... Hurry up and text back. 2 minutes later, "See babe, that's y i luv u."

Still, I question myself, what does that four letter word mean?